I am enjoying Paul’s letters more and more. What a man. He served Jesus to the utmost, and also told us so much about grace. He suffered extremely for the gospel.

Certain parts of Paul’s letters especially appeal to me as a chronically ill individual. So often we think that believing in Jesus makes us exempt from illness and other problems. He is after all, the great healer. This is true. He is the healer. But somehow He doesn’t always answer our prayers the way we want Him to.

Paul’s letters are full of the reality of suffering and struggle:

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. – 2 Corinthians 4:7-10

 

We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. – Romans 8:22-23

In these verses, Paul also mentions the ‘groaning of our bodies’. We do not yet have a new redeemed body. We are waiting for that new body in heaven. (This does not mean God does not heal today! It does mean however, that ultimate healing comes in heaven.)

At the same time, Paul speaks of victory amid seeming defeat. What to worldly eyes seems like a defeat is used by God as a way to win. This is the way of Jesus on the cross and the way that many Christians go through.

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written:

“For your sake we face death all day long;

we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”^j

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^k neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. – Romans 8:35-39

In all these things: in the sufferings, beatings, daily brushes with death and shame, Paul says that he is more than a conqueror.

Being a conqueror does not mean you are without suffering. You do not get a ‘successful Christian badge’ after you have a comfortable healthy life in which all your dreams come true. So often nowadays we think those with true faith must be without problems: If you aren’t problem-free, people think, you must not have had sufficient faith to solve these problems! This is not (necessarily) the case.

If you still have fears, worries, and sickness there must be something wrong with you, many Christians think. Paul was not a man who never experienced fear (e.g. 2 Corinthians 7:5-6). He was not a man who never experienced illness (Galatians 4:13-14). He had a prayer that God did not answer, because God’s grace was sufficient (2 Corinthians 12:9).

Instead, however, he was a man who kept persevering and was comforted by God’s love and grace.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. – 2 Corinthians 3:1-5

Paul talks extensively in Philippians about joy while he is in prison.

Paul knew what it was to be comforted by God’s love and grace, and to receive an otherworldly kind of joy in the midst of difficulties.

I have experienced God’s comfort in my life too.

There is so much that can be said about Paul and his sufferings. Paul seemed to view them as necessary for a good Christian leader. And one can ask oneself: if a big time Christian leader is not going through difficult times or sacrifice in her/his effort to share the good news of Jesus, is he/she really the model we should follow? After all, Jesus suffered! I say this about leaders because of the ‘prosperity gospel’ that is often spread. Rich and popular leaders tell those who follow them that they can have a good life. Yes, you will have a great life if you follow Jesus, but not an easy one.

As in the passage below in 2 Corinthians, Paul commends himself as a servant of God through his suffering. When I really look at these passages, it scares me to be honest. Such sacrifice! Does God really ask that of us? Paul seemed to imply that as a leader, more suffering was asked of him (or just plain happened to him) than the ordinary believer. But when more suffering comes, God also provides His grace: my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Not everyone goes through the kind and extent of Paul’s sufferings. (Phew.)

But Paul does seem to keep reiterating the importance and necessity of suffering in our Christian journey in his letters. He states suffering helps us to get to know Jesus (Philippians 3:10-12).

And to be honest, if Jesus was a man of sorrows, how can his followers expect to be exempt?

But in that suffering, there is the paradox of joy and conquest.

Paul says in 2 Corinthians:

Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance; in troubles, hardships and distresses; in beatings, imprisonments and riots; in hard work, sleepless nights and hunger; in purity, understanding, patience and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love; in truthful speech and in the power of God; with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left; through glory and dishonor, bad report and good report; genuine, yet regarded as impostors; known, yet regarded as unknown; dying, and yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed; sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything.

Note the paradoxes above: dying but living; sorrowful but always rejoicing; having nothing but possessing everything. In all difficult situations, Jesus gives us life, joy and through Him we have everything.

When we have Jesus, we have everything we need.

Going through difficult times helps us to see what we really need: Jesus. Suffering helps us to depend on Him and others in the community of believers.

It helps us to get to know Jesus and experience Him and His joy, and that at a level beyond our own grasp.

I have experienced this in part (already) through this journey of illness. I have learnt many things through it and experienced God’s joy (as well as a ton of sorrow). Many, many people have supported me through it and I have learnt the importance of interdependence. And I have experienced God in amazing ways.